I was a boob girl, they looked great.They needed to be shown off, test-driven, if only Erica could see them. Shopping, I tried different outfits to see how to enhance them, selected bras that promoted them and developed other attire accents which made my presence known. I selected a perfume few wore to announce my presence by smell, wore heels which drew attention by their walking tap, decorated like a Christmas tree with expensive jewelry, and I used TV news anchorwomen as dress role models. It was a full 40-year old life crisis.The attention my upscale appearance garnered ensured I wasn’t a past tense woman. I wanted men to notice my eyes, hair, neck nape, legs, clothes, and breasts, walking by, entering a building, getting in or out of a car, I wanted visual attention, the opposite of when I was young. I smiled thinking about my Pee Che folder hiding once upon a time. Now I was the crudely referred to, attention whore. It was fun to flirt as a 40-year old woman but only if men. If I had to pick a porn star that she resembled at that time, look up Justine Romee and it would be a pretty good approximation. As I mentioned, mom was pretty loose about her nudity. I mean she didn’t walk around naked but she was ashamed by it.; however for me, it was a catch-22. I wanted to see her naked but at the same time it was frustrating as I wanted more but didn’t know what that was. These thoughts transitioned into my dreams and one night I finally had relief, my first wet dream. I can’t recall the specifics but mom was involved and all of a sudden I felt very happy and relieved. I woke up with a wet stickiness in my PJ’s. I was embarrassed and quickly threw them in the hamper, not really understanding what happened. Thankfully, I had a very understanding mother. She found my PJ’s during weekend laundry and knew it was time for a talk about what my body was going to go thru. She called me into the living room and sat me down. She told me about finding.
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